Dexter - Season 5 - Episode 1 - "My Bad"

I have a rule about long-running television shows. I call it the Five-Year Rule. Basically, I don’t think shows should be allowed to run past 5 years. The reason? For every show that has enjoyed sustained success past its initial 5 years (South Park being a great example), there are 10 other shows where the quality goes downhill fast (The Office, CSI, Friends, ER, Family Guy), usually through the use gimmicks like a marriage or a baby, or the overuse of guest stars/big name additions to the cast to keep people watching. In most cases, the downhill slide actually starts sooner than 5 years, but allowing a show to go a full 5 years lets it have its peak (usually somewhere around season 3) and then lets it tie up any loose ends without completely jumping the shark.

In the case of Dexter, I like to pretend Season 3 never happened, as Jimmy Smits nearly brought down the franchise single-handedly. But then John Lithgow knocked one out of the park as the Trinity Killer in Season 4 and revived the show. Last season’s ending was probably this series’ peak in terms of OMG moments, unless you want to make the argument that it peaked in Season One. But now begins the decline. You could already say it was on its way even with Lithgow. Every season has followed the same formula: There’s a serial killer loose, Dexter must kill him/her, all the while avoiding his own police department and not letting his family or co-workers know his secret. Sure, there were deviations along the way, but that’s been the basic premise since the beginning.

We all know the logical conclusion of this show: the unavoidable showdown between Dexter and his sister Deb when she discovers that her brother is a serial killer. There’s no other way for this to end, and the final end will either be with Dexter’s death by his sister or Deb letting him continue to kill (likely the latter now that Baby Harrison is around). But let’s get there fast and not drag this out. Instead, Season 5 brings in Julia Stiles and Peter Weller, better known to people over the age of 35 as the guy who played Robocop. See why you end things sooner rather than later? I'll give them a season 6 if necessary, but this can't go any longer than that. At this point, I’m worried they might add Dexter to the list of series Betty White is making the rounds on.

Thankfully for “My Bad,” this year’s premiere episode, we see neither of the new guest characters. Instead, we start off with a continuation of last year’s finale, moments after Dexter finds his wife Rita dead in the bathtub at the hands of the Trinity Killer, his baby son Harrison in a pool of her blood, the same way he was found as a toddler when his own mother was killed. The police arrive and in typical Dexter fashion, he has no clue of how he is supposed to act in these situations. He half-admits to the crime, setting himself up as a prime suspect. His own Miami PD buddies are split on what to do. Lt. LaGuerta wants to leave it alone and let the FBI do the job, while her new husband Batista and Dexter’s nemesis Quinn want to investigate.

Quinn helps Deb clean up the murder scene at Dexter's house, and the teased hookup between the two finally happens, And hey, if you don't want to fuck on the kitchen floor 20 feet away from where a murder happened in the last couple of days, I don't want to know you as a person. Afterwards, Deb pretends like nothing happened, so I’m sure this will become a running plot for the coming season, as Quinn tries to chase her down, likely to no avail. However, he’ll also be chasing down Dexter. Or as I like to call it, Dexter vs. Doakes, part two, as they’ve already used this angle of cop chasing down (sort of) cop. He’s already quizzed Dexter’s neighbor about his ‘affair’ with Rita (one kiss constitutes an affair now?), so he knows there is more to this than meets the eye. Rest assured, Quinn will be swimming with the alligators by the end of this season. As for Deb, she's taking over the mother role for Rita as Dexter attempts to cope with her death.
She takes over the planning of the funeral while Dexter reminisces of his first date with his deceased wife, acting all socially awkward, and then excusing himself from the date to kill a man in the parking lot. Rita feels shocked, but then calls Dexter to admit she was lying and that she has children (which Dexter already knew because his sister set up the date). She thinks she has a connection with Dexter, who's disposing of a body at the time she calls. Who wouldn’t have a connection with a guy who excuses himself and runs off halfway through a date to go kill a guy? And that's how that relationship started. Did they show this date a few years ago too? I don't remember it being so terribly unbelievable at the time.

Dexter is forced to tell his adopted family about the murder, and does it as only Dexter can, wearing Mickey Mouse ears on his head while announcing Rita’s gruesome death. Stepdaughter Astor reacts by screaming at Dexter that she wishes it was Dexter who was dead, and wishing he would have never come into their lives. Of course, Dexter decides he should literally leave the family alone, asking Deb (and the downstairs cat lady!) to take care of Harrison while he runs away to kill in peace, pretty much even before Rita’s body is cold and her funeral is held. With his killing tools along for the ride, Dexter shanks a redneck who insults Rita, then we finally see Dexter's dad Harry appear to guide his son, telling him that his family needs him. Dexter breaks down, one of the few times he ever shows emotion, crying over top of the man he’s just killed. And then, of course Dexter predictably shows up to deliver the eulogy at Rita's funeral. It even got a little dusty in my living room during the eulogy, even as unsurprising as it might have been.
We already know Dexter will be avoiding the authorities this season, as he tries to hide his secret. Another serial killer will pop up for a game of cat and mouse soon, and Dexter can get back to killing. He’ll have to do it while raising 3 children though, so there’s your quirk for the season. Hopefully this doesn’t turn into something we’ve already seen before. But I’m having my doubts already, as you can see the recycling of plots happening. Luckily, the acting here is always top notch (unless they bring back Jimmy Smits’ character from the dead) so there’s reason to tune in. Grade: C+